Style of our own Rajni sssaaaarrr

 

1.  He makes onions cry

2. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

3. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than

Death can process them.

4. Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.

5. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

6. Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

7. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights

on,......... ... he turns the dark off.

8. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not

even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

9. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can

throw Brett Favre even further.

10. The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

11. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you

will die.

12. Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for

handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot

belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

14. Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd,

no one fools Rajanikanth.

15. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you

mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

16. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

17. Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating

pain, the cobra died.

18. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many

seconds you have left to live.

19. Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

20. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the

first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone

standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.

Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

22. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so

he turned the sun up.

23. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

25. It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

26. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger,

by yelling, "Bang!"

27. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could

use to kill you, including the room itself.

28. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead

man, there is Rajanikanth.

29. Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only

recognizes the element of surprise.

30. Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

31. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry

about his drinking habit.

32. The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square

Rajanikanth, the result is death.

33. When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a

personal insult.

 

 

 

children are children

 

 

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

 

 

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

 

 

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

 

 

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

 

 

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,

'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

 

 

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies .

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

 

 

A Brilliant Ad: I can't follow you everywhere...!

"I can't follow you everywhere...!'

'Avoid using mobile phone while driving...'