Thursday, March 19, 2009

Style of our own Rajni sssaaaarrr

 

1.  He makes onions cry

2. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

3. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than

Death can process them.

4. Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.

5. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

6. Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

7. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights

on,......... ... he turns the dark off.

8. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not

even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

9. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can

throw Brett Favre even further.

10. The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

11. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you

will die.

12. Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for

handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot

belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

14. Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd,

no one fools Rajanikanth.

15. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you

mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

16. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

17. Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating

pain, the cobra died.

18. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many

seconds you have left to live.

19. Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

20. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the

first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone

standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.

Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

22. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so

he turned the sun up.

23. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

25. It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

26. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger,

by yelling, "Bang!"

27. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could

use to kill you, including the room itself.

28. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead

man, there is Rajanikanth.

29. Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only

recognizes the element of surprise.

30. Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

31. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry

about his drinking habit.

32. The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square

Rajanikanth, the result is death.

33. When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a

personal insult.

 

 

 

Friday, March 13, 2009

children are children

 

 

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

 

 

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

 

 

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

 

 

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

 

 

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,

'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

 

 

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies .

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

 

 

Saturday, March 7, 2009

A Brilliant Ad: I can't follow you everywhere...!

"I can't follow you everywhere...!'

'Avoid using mobile phone while driving...'

Mithun Da: AWESOME DIALOGES

 

 

People often talk about Rajnikant, but they forget about the antics and dialogues of our great Mithun da...

Here are some amazing dialogues from Mithun da's films. Enjoy !!!!

 

 

 

" Bheegi hui cigarette kabhi jal nahi sakti.....                      

aur yeh tay hai ki teri maut ki taarikh tal nahi sakti "                    

 

 

"Apuun ka naam hai HEERA,                                                  

Apuun ne sab ko Cheeera..." (wah wah.....)                                  

 

 

Shetty: "kaun hai be tu?"

Mithun da says-

 

"Main hoon tum jaise logon se nafrat karne waala,

Garibon ke liye jyoti; Gundon ke liye jwala;

tujhe banake maut ka Ek niwala,

tere seene mein gaad dunga mai maut ka bhala

Mila doonga yamraj se tere ko  salaaaa."    (waah... what a poetry!!!!!)

 

 

 

" Main hoon Do Numbri, ek se jyaada, teen se kam                            

Dikhne mein bevda, bhaagne mein ghoda, aur maarne mein hathoda .... " ( amazing!!! )

 

 

" Jitani tumne saanse li hongi, usase jyaada maine lashein  girayi hai (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   ???????   )                                                            

 

 

 

Mantriji:- "Ye kanch bullretproof hai. tum mujhe chu bhi nahi sakte"

Mithun Da:-"Ye kanch bulletproof hai magar patthhar proof nahi"          

AND HE BREAKS IT BY THROWING STONES ON THE GLASS !!!!! 

 

 

 

And the best one…………….

 

Mithun da gets a bullet on his leg, Looks at the villain scornfully, calmly stands up and says-  

"DUSHMANO KI  LAASHON  PAR  BHANGRA  KARNE WALA KABHI LANGDA NAHIN HO SAKTA"

" Koi Shaq..??????

 

 

 

Friday, March 6, 2009

Morning News

Philosophy of life

Nice philosophical thoughts!!!

Chand Baori - One of the deep stepwell well in the world

Chand Baori is a famous stepwell situated in the village of Abhaneri near Jaipur in the Indian state of Rajasthan.

 

This step well is located opposite Harshat Mata Temple and is one of the deepest and largest step wells in India. It was built in the 9th century and has 3500 narrow steps and 13 stories and is 100 feet deep.

 

Built back in the 10th century, the incredible well of Chand Baori, India was a practical solution to the water problem in the area. The arid climate forced the locals to dig deep for a dependable water source, one that would last throughout an entire year. Chand Baori well is 30 meters deep, it has 13 floors and 3,500 steps. Legends say that ghosts build it in one night and that it has so many steps to make it impossible for someone to retrieve a coin once it’s been dropped in the well.

See wiki

Monday, March 2, 2009

FW: TIME TO LAUGH!!!

 

 

Time to LAUGH

 

Teacher to Santa " Where were U born?

Santa : In Tiruvanantapuram.

Teacher : Spell it?

Santa : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA .

 

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Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"

Banta : How do you know??

Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came

again..

 

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Santa complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my

house.

Police : How the theif did not take TV???

Santa : I was watching TV na....

 

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If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's

 

 

younger sis and elder sis?

 

Answer : MINIMUM & MAXIMUM

 

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Do you know the similarity between "Dinasaurs" & "Decent Girls"

 

Answer: Both dont exist on earth !!!

 

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When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?

 

Answer : On their Wedding !!

 

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Interviewer: what is your birth date?

Sardar : 13th October

Interviewer: Which year?

Sardar : Oye ullu ke patte _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

 

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One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this

village???

Sardar: no sir, here only small Babies born!!!

 

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Interviewer: just imagine you r in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how

will you escape?

Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!

 

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Santa & Banta were going with their friend on one scooter & a

traffic cop tried to stop them.

Santa said: Sorry bhai, already 3 baithe hain bilkul bhi jagah nahin

hai !!!

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Santa: If I die will u remarry?

Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?

 

Santa: No, I'll also stay with ur sister

 

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Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.

Pappu: Haan papa, chalo Maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha

hai.

 

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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?

Santa: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

 

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A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?

Santa replied: Mainu at nahi hai ji, tainu hai at lipat ja...

 

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Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar NE poocha: Upar kyon aaya?

 

Banta: Apple khane.

Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.

Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

 

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SARDAR talking on cell.

2ND SARDAR: kis se

baat kar raho ho.

1ST: biwi se.....

2ND: itne... pyar se....?

1ST: tumhari hai. . .;)

 

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SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

 

1. Strength: My wife,Jeeto.

 

2. Weakness: Banta's wife,Preeto.

 

3. Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.

 

4. Threat: When I am on tour